hidden grief

This Thursday started out as a normal day, except that my computer at school wouldn't connect to the internet right away. It didn't start working until 8:35am, once the kids were already in the classroom. I was finally able to check my school email, and that's when I got the news that my grandma had passed away. It was a bit of a shock and I had to step out of the classroom for "just a moment" I thought, as I left my student's in Jodee's care. But the grief kinda overcame me for a bit. The worst part was wanting to be at home with my family. My staff was kind enough to cover for me for the morning while I went to Jodee's and used her computer to call home. My grandma (Dad's mom) has been living in a nursing home for over a year. In good care under my mom's supervision there. She suffered with Alzheimer's and Diabetes. She's seemed relatively stable there, with bouts of sadness. But she stopped recognizing us awhile back. I still remember 3 years ago when I left for Korea she said "I hope I'm not here when you get back." It was painful to me, but she was 90 at that time. She's been tired for awhile....waiting to go be with grandpa, who's been gone for about 10 years. She's finally at peace.

At the funeral, instead of a eulogy, my family will be taking turns to share various memories. Here's my contribution that my parents will read for me:

"I will always remember Grandma's strong arms. Her strong arms gave countless hugs that always made me feel right at home. Grandma leaves memories of hard work in the garden, pulling weeds from the river at the cottage, delicious meatballs and sweet Peparkakor. But her greatest legacy is the legacy of faith that has been passed down through the generations. She was an example to all her grandchildren of a woman of strong faith that was willing to make sacrifices for the sake of the gospel. I always knew she was in touch with God, praying for each of us. She never said so, but somehow I just knew. I hope I can follow her example in my life, to be a woman of prayer and sacrifice. I'm glad she can finally rest in her Heavenly Father's arms."

to those of you close by, sorry I haven't been so open about this. I tend to just start crying when I talk about it. but soon enough my mourning will turn to joy as I celebrate her life.

brrrr....

still quite cold here....we even turn on the extra electric heater sometimes in the evenings. government heating isn't warm enough in our building! maybe because we're on the first floor it's colder. we had snow again the other night, but again it's mostly gone.

this past weekend Scott had a final volleyball tournament with his girls' team. we also received a call inviting us to an interview for volunteering for the Olympics! we'd applied awhile ago and hadn't heard anything until now. so I went on my own early Saturday morning to the other side of the city, to one of the universities. there were all foreigners, about 30 of us, and they had us fill out a form that was all in chinese! haha. then I had the first interview since I was sitting closest to the door. they just asked me a few questions: what did I do here in Beijing, how long I'd been here, how I planned on getting to the Olympic Stadium, and was I truly available for the entire period. that was it. they didn't seem completely organized. we'll see how they do with running this big event!!! anyways, we'd like to be involved if we can....though we might have some meeting in preparation for the beginning of the school year during the games. we can only hope that we can get out of them if we get to volunteer!

it seems like everyone at our school is getting sick. one of our teachers found out today she has bronchitis, so she's on I.V. antibiotics at a clinic and will be taking tomorrow off....which throws things off for chapel which she's supposed to do. oh well! we'll manage.

the puppy is still with us. she's doing a bit better. but we're still trying to give her away :) there is a korean family that is quite interested. we'll just have to break the news to our friend Alex, and see if he approves. we had some other neighbours over on Friday for dinner (malaysian), and they have 2 very young kids. the dog was scared of the small humans! it was pretty funny.

I gave my testimony at church on Sunday! it went well I think. of course everyone gave me positive feedback later....they wouldn't really say otherwise, would they? :) as long as it encourages one person along the way, it was worth it :)

well I better get set for chapel tomorrow! figure out how to do worship without our guitarist.

zaitian!

sucky cold week

basically this week sucks so far :) it's very cold. even a few minutes outside and you feel the nipping at your nose. but I'm thankful for the warm home I have. also, my teaching partner is away on holiday, and the guy subbing for her doesn't like to chat too much. I'm used to talking about everything with Jodee.

the puppy is alright. cute, but taking her sweet time getting adjusted to our home. still using our living room floor as a toilet. and her former mom came to say goodbye today as she flies out tomorrow. she had tears in her eyes as she took a few last pictures with her. they have really treated her like a baby. she even came with her own suitcase of things!

thankfully tomorrow is Wednesday, which means Cheap Chinese! a weekly gathering for a cheap meal with some friends after work. we also usually walk over to IKEA after for a 1 kuai ice-cream cone (1/7 of a dollar).

this weekend I'll be giving my testimony at church. Scott did his about a month ago. so I've got to plan for that. and I've got too much marking to do! plus plans for chinese new year, spelling bee and brain bowl. this semester really is going to fly by.

Scott is doing a chinese lesson, while I've just finished preparing songs for chapel tomorrow. Joy and I usually take turns. but she always plays the guitar :) the piano is in an awkward spot in the auditorium so I haven't played it yet.

bye for now!

busy week

it's certainly difficult going back to work after 3 weeks off. it was an exhausting week. but the kids were great, and I'm glad to see them again. it's just all the administrative details that make the job too stressful at times.

but we managed to book a trip to Vietnam and acquire a dog this week! yikes! we're going with a couple of friends, flying into Hanoi. we're really looking forward to it! the weather is getting colder here. down to -10, which is the coldest it's been so far here. I guess it's harder to handle here because of the wind, and because we walk around quite a bit more than we would in Canada. thankfully the bus is so cheap! it's about the equivalent of 2 cents! we love it!

the dog we've adopted is from our neighbours who are moving to New Zealand for awhile. she's really cute. not sure what kind yet. but she has golden/brown curly hair like a poodle, but she has a shorter nose. she's slowly getting used to us. she barked a little when she heard my mom talking to us on Skype. she just barks for a moment at strangers, but then is very friendly.

we continue to be blessed by our church. we really sense G-- preparing us and molding us for things in the future. whatever it might be, we are surrendering our lives to him and allowing him to use us wherever and however. and for now in our lives, that's right here. the people at our church are all incredible people. one natural characteristic of all people living here is that we're all risk-takers. we've stepped out in faith because He has called us. and this somehow creates and unique bond between us all. we know most of these people are in our lives for a short period of time. many are in fact leaving within this year. but that doesn't stop us from having fun and encouraging one another.

I'll keep this one short because I know the other recent ones were quite long.
zaitian!

back in BJ

I must say it's been bitter sweet to be back home in Beijing. It's great sleeping in our own bed again and having the comforts here. But it's cold. Our skin quickly reacted and dried right up. we try to slather up with the lotion to prevent our tans from peeling away. I miss all the warm sunshine....and tomorrow we go back to teaching. Friday we had meetings in the morning then in the afternoon we got ready for Monday. it was strange being back after 3 weeks. I felt myself get stressed again. but remembering our trip to Boracay will help me right now :)

we flew from Manila to Kalibo on the 26th. from Kalibo we were taken on a 1.5hr bus ride with a terribly violent movie playing, and the road was winding through the hills, by steep cliffs...which made me feel a little car sick. once that terrible ride was over we took a 10 min. boat ride to Boracay island, where we were met by hotel staff. all this transportation was arranged for us. then we took a 10 min. ride by mini-jeep and arrived at the hotel. it was a modest place, kinda motel style, but looked like townhouses. it had all the basics and served us well. we spent most of the time on the beach anyways.

that first afternoon we just walked up and down the beach, browsed in the shops and enjoyed our first swim in the salty water. that was hard to get used to. but everything was just beautiful. white sand, clear water, gorgeous skies. picking a restaurant for lunch and dinner was always fun. there were so many good choices. and by 5pm, they can set up tables on the beach. so we ate our dinners reclining or sitting on the beach under the stars, with the sound of the ocean, and live music.

there are so many vendors on the island. everyone is trying to make a living there. but they all have to have a licence. so the guy selling the pearls is wearing an official "pearl vendor" shirt, as is the sunglasses guy, etc. they were relentless in trying to sell us stuff. it didn't matter that I was wearing sunglasses, they asked me if I wanted to buy a pair anyways. after awhile Scott's brilliant idea was to ask them if they wanted to buy our stuff. one day a watch vendor came by and Scott said "wanna buy this watch?" and he held up my Colombia sports watch to him. the guy kinda smirked and said he'd give us about $1 for it! ha! and I paid at least $50 for it. but I guess they don't sell sporty watches.

the hotel provided our breakfast each morning. on our first full day we went snorkelling. that was one of the highlights of the trip for me. it was my first time snorkelling. we were taken by boat (just the two of us) just off shore from the beach. Scott says it's not as colorful as other reefs he's been to, but it was still pretty cool to me. we had crackers, and lots of fish came to eat from us. he took us to one other location, though they were supposed to take us to another island too, but he said the water was too rough that day. we had a great morning though. it was quite exhausting though. we had a long nap in the afternoon because we were so pooped. Scott got a good sunburn from lying on top of the water like that for almost 3 hrs.

that night there was a huge thunderstorm. really loud thunder and huge downpours. in the morning it was still pouring. we made our way to a cafe where we got a coffee and read for awhile. we met a couple beside us who were German, but they lived and worked in Beijing! crazy! by noon things had cleared up. but a few of the stores and restaurants were flooded. we took a long walk that afternoon around the rocky coast to another beach. it was more secluded and had more private homes. the long "white beach" as the call it, was also starting to fill up with more people. it seemed more and more were arriving to celebrate New Years on the island.

on our third full day we ventured out and rented bikes. the bikes sucked, and the ride was rough because there's only one main road on the island with plenty of traffic and many steep hills. thankfully, the further we went from the beach, the less traffic there was. we biked by a golf course, and many poor homes. we made our way to Puka Shell beach, on the north shore of the island. there weren't many people there at all. understandable though, the sand was not very fine and the beach was rocky and dropped off quite quickly. riding out of there we met up with some guys who were offering tours to the bat caves! Scott was all for that. they even offered to let us drive their motorbike, and their friends would ride our bikes for us. so off we went. the road was pretty rough. then we had a short walk through the jungle and arrived at the caves. it was a steep climb down. very wet and muddy. but they took very good care of us, guiding step by step. once at the bottom we looked up to see thousands of bats! the cave has an opening to the ocean. they told us we could go swimming, but we didn't feel comfortable with that, especially since there were sea snakes nesting in the cave!! yikes! I was pretty scared when we saw those. we didn't stay much longer after that :)

they rode our bikes back to the main road for us, then we went back to our beach, but agreed to have them tour us around later. after lunch they met us at our hotel and we took off on their motorbikes again. we went to Mt. Luho, which is really just a hill, and the highest point on the island. it had a nice lookout though. they also took us to a butterfly farm where there were giant fruit bats! they were so big!! Scott got to hold one, though he was pretty scared :)

and that was it! we ended our time in Boracay by eating at the Mongolian Grill restaurant on the beach. we befriended some local kids who were selling stuff to tourists. so they came to talk to us whenever they saw us. actually it was Vince, the mascot alligator (from Beacon) that really won their hearts :) most of them are muslim. one of them has 11 siblings! we sat with him one day, got him a Coke, and we were looking at a map of the island. he told us he goes to school and is in grade 3, but he barely knows how to read. I think with a family his size, they might not afford school all the time. sometimes kids are in and out of school there.

the contrast between rich and poor in the Philippines is vast. we read in the newspaper that there are 90 million filipinos! and that's just the ones living there - not counting all the ones who are living and working away from home. the money isn't making it's way to the people who need it most. thankfully many people there know the Lord. and there are many people working to help the poor and forgotten.

we've been infected with the "travel to warm places" bug :) we're considering a trip to Vietnam with friends during our week off in february (chinese new year). according to the other teachers, this second semester seems to fly by even faster because of all the events. chinese new year, then easter, enrichment week, may holiday, spelling bee, brain bowl, spring concert, and who knows what else they have up their sleeves?! should be a breeze!

...hot Christmas....

we are nearing the end of our Christmas holidays. and we are slowly moving towards colder air. we're currently in Shenzhen, just north of Hong Kong in mainland China. we have a long wait here for our flight this evening. thankfully we met up with one of my colleagues and her husband, who are taking the same flight, and are just as early. we spent last night in Macau at a Best Western. they upgraded our room for free and threw in buffet breakfast too! it was nice....though the room still smelled like smoke.

it has felt like such a long vacation, though we've only been gone for just over 2 weeks. we've been so busy relaxing....I should have written throughout the vacation, I've probably forgotten some of the fun details by now.

we started out by flying here to Shenzhen then travelling by bus to Hong Kong with my colleague Joy, and her husband Rob. we all stayed at their friend's place, which is the apartment at the top of the YMCA hotel right downtown. a beautiful view of the city. Hong Kong is a nice place. clean and well-organized. the buildings are so tall, just to fit all the people in the small area they have. we wandered the streets and took a short trip up to Victoria Peak at night-time. we only stayed one night, then took a ferry to Macau, where we caught our flight to Manila. apparently that night in Macau, was the grand opening of the MGM.

we arrived in Manila just after midnight. but by the time we got picked up, drove home and had a snack, we were in bed by about 3:30am. thankfully we had no jet lag to recover from, so the next day we were ready to enjoy the hot weather and pool in the backyard. we spent a few days just relaxing and shopping (and eating lots of fresh mango) before all the Christmas parties started. then the meals got bigger and bigger! those filipinos love to eat. and they are so hospitable. I have 3 Aunts plus some cousins living there. another cousin from the U.S. also went home for Christmas. it was great to reaquaint with all of them. we rarely see each other. we took a day trip to Tagaytay, a mountinous area. unfortunately because we were with lots of people, we weren't able to do the adventurous boat ride, horse ride and hike up to the volcano.

every Christmas Eve they go to Kawit, to the home where my mom's family lived for many years. one of their cousins still lives there, along with other relatives in the neighbourhood. that city has a parade every year, with floats depicting various stories from the Bible, and some good marching bands in between. this year they made the parade earlier, because of high tide. some streets get flooded now when the tide comes in, because the sewage system is all plugged up with garbage. the river there is a sad sight. so dirty with drifting garbage everywhere. my second cousin, Rizza, was on one of the floats this year, as the angel announcing the coming of Christ. she looked beautiful!

Christmas Day is different than in North America. presents aren't a priority. the biggest priority is spending time with family. so when we went to my Aunt Fely's house for lunch, presents are given inconspicuously and without much fanfare. we had a lovely dinner. the very next day we flew to Boracay island. but that's another big story and I'll save that for another day.